PYL #2 - People - aarrgh!

I can guarantee that on your list of things that you tolerate in life there is at least one person's name and probably several situations involving other people. In our life we just have to interact with some folks who don't think or act like us and in our humble opinions are kooks, jerks, or worse!

In most cases of having to manage other peoples' behavior, it's about boundaries. Boundaries are our rules of how we allow other people or situations to impact or influence us and it is our job to teach others how to treat us. If we simply allow another person to behave badly towards us and then don't set and maintain a boundary, we essentially are giving that person the green light to continue the bad behavior. It is then our own fault.

Last week I was visiting a wonderful friend of mine who told me a story about a situation that she was really disturbed about. A close friend of hers has a new boyfriend who propositioned my friend at a social gathering. She was appalled and stunned and paralyzed. Because she does not expect this kind of behavior from her girlfriends' partners, she found herself blank and speechless and feeling oddly guilty. This happened several weeks ago and she continues to be very bothered by this man's behavior, not only because it was sleazy, but because she and her husband will be on a trip soon that will include this man. She feels very uncomfortable with the thought of being around this man, yet feels equally uncomfortable with the thought of confronting him with his bad behavior. I think even though situations may be different, the feeling of being caught between two uncomfortable choices with regards to other people's behavior is pretty common for us gals.

My friend asked me my opinion on how to handle such a sticky situation. A perfect time to set a very clear boundary. My advice was to speak with this man at the outset of the group vacation and clearly state that his behavior was unacceptable to her and should he repeat it or anything like it she will make it known to his girlfriend.

What do you think? How would you handle such a situation? How have you set a boundary and maintained it for yourself?