The Balanced Living Journal

Practical information for busy women from Women's Success Coach Catherine Bruns. Visit me also at www.coachbalance.com

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Amazing Power of Ritual

Last week I held a mini retreat for the women who had participated in retreats earlier in the year to focus on goals and planning. In the midst of celebrating their accomplishments and creating great goals for the rest of the year, we began to talk about the rituals in our lives and what it is that they create for us.

The most interesting thing about this conversation is that none of the women recognized what she had been doing as a ritual until she began to talk about it.
Rituals serve a huge number of purposes in our lives and likely you have several that are important that you are not even aware of.

The rituals that my group talked about last week were those related to transitioning from work to home. Being busy working moms these women realized the power of creating a transition space between work and home and how the ritual allowed them to let go of one aspect of their day and become present with another. Here are some examples:
  • Liza, a busy psychologist and mother of two noted that as she walks to her car from her office she calls someone on her cell phone and chats all the way home. For her this activity allows her to disconnect from her patients and turn her mind towards her personal life.
  • Marian, also a busy psychologist who has a home office, described a process in which she leaves her office and goes to her bedroom where she takes off her work clothes, washes her hands and face and then spends time playing and reading with her daughter. This allows her to clear away the energy of her clients and reconnect with her daughter before the tasks of the evening begin.
Think about your life. Where are your rituals? What do you do that is a habit that brings you peace, or a feeling of stability or connection. Likely you have some rituals around the holidays, but you probably have rituals every day that if left undone, leave you feeling undone.

I have a morning ritual. Once I've done my morning chores, feed the dog, water the plants, etc., I take my coffee upstairs to my lanai, which has a great comfy chair, blooming plants, my altar, and a killer view of the mountains. I light a candle on my altar (which is a space containing important and inspriring objects) read the paper and do the crossword puzzle and then think about my day. I have a deck of inspiring cards, and I pull a couple of cards from this deck, while considering what it is I need to focus on for my day. Then I'm ready to go downstairs and work.

It doesn't matter how early my day begins. I get up early enough to feel the space of this ritual - because that's what it brings to me, space. I feel centered and prepared to move on to the doing part of my day.

What are your rituals and what is important about them? Share with us.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I'm giving away 100 free coaching sessions!

Help me become a great Coach!

The more I coach, the better I become. In this spirit of pursuing mastery I am giving away 100 coaching sessions to women between now and the end of September 2005.

I've already had 16 women take me up on this offer and help me to become great. I only have 19 sessions left for July and they're filling fast!

If you or some woman you know is interested in a free coaching session then drop me an email at Catherine@coachbalance.com.

It's a total win/win, since you get free coaching and I become better and better as a Coach.

This is not a clever disguise for a sales pitch - just me wanting to be great!

If you have questions about coaching, who I am, or what I have to offer then I encourage you to visit www.coachbalance.com for more information.

I look forward to coaching you soon!


10 Lessons for Business and Life

I just sent out my newsletter Living in Balance with the feature article, titled 10 Lessons for Business and Life. I wrote this based on the most important, but certainly not all, the lessons I've learned in my first year as a full time business owner.

What are some of the most important lessons you've learned in your life and business?

Share with us so we can learn from you!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Taking Responsibility Gives you More Power

Last week I had two very personal experiences with the impact of taking responsibility - or not.

The first was my own. I made an inappropriate (gasp!) comment to my best friend. Being best friends, we can talk about anything and the feedback we give each other would sometimes make other people squirm with discomfort at its loving directness, but this comment I knew was over the line the moment it left my mouth. Not only did I have the internal, 'uh-oh meter' go off, but my friend's face let me know that my words were not received well. As soon as we parted I knew I had to apologize for that comment. If I didn't take responsibility for making a mistake, though our relationship would remain strong, there would be a chink in the trust we have with each other. So, I did - apologize that is. I called her up and said, 'my bad' and that was not what I intended to say at all, but I did so I'm sorry. Of course, she graciously accepted and we moved on - all done.

Why is taking responsibility important, and how does it impact your personal power? Let's talk power first. When I say personal power I mean your own personal ability to affect change in your own life. You don't have power over other people, but you do have power over how you respond to them. You don't have power over traffic, but you do have power over how you choose to manage it. Get it?

Power is about your choice and your action. When you take responsibility for something that is not going right or well, then you take the power to make it different. On the flip side, if you blame others for what's not working in your life - 'it's all your fault' - then you have successfully given that person, or institution your power. You are then at the mercy of that other to make it right for you. And you can wait forever and ever for that to happen.

Some folks choose to give their power away and remain in a victim place. I am a teacher at a local university and in a recent class I had two students who were quite good at giving away their power. It was the University's fault that they weren't informed, it was my fault that I graded too hard, it was the curriculum's fault that it wasn't clear, it was the technology's fault that they didn't know how to operate it, and on and on and on. Not surprisingly these students didn't get very good grades and guess who got blamed? Yes, me! What I find so unfortunate about this experience is that these grown up women gave everyone else the power for their educational experience. I find it very sad that they gave away almost all their power for their learning and their grade and then got angry at others.

Do you give away your power? Do you blame others for things that don't go well for you? If so, then here are some questions to ask yourself:
  • What am I getting out of giving my power away (being a victim)?
  • Are there certain areas that I give my power away in more than others?
  • If I took responsibility for myself, how would that impact my life?
  • What can I take responsibility for right now?
  • What's my first step in taking that responsibility?
Go for it! Take the responsibility you need to make your life shine. Only you can do that. Sure, life throws us doozys all the time, but we get to choose how we deal with life's lemons.

One caution - don't take responsibility for what is clearly the responsibility of others. You have no power over other's behavior, so don't take responsibility for someone's drinking, violence, failures, etc. They need their own power!

Taking responsibility is a key component of a powerful and successful life. Need some help? Then get it. I'm ready to Coach you to responsiblity if you need it at Balanced Life Coaching.