Taking Responsibility Gives you More Power

Last week I had two very personal experiences with the impact of taking responsibility - or not.

The first was my own. I made an inappropriate (gasp!) comment to my best friend. Being best friends, we can talk about anything and the feedback we give each other would sometimes make other people squirm with discomfort at its loving directness, but this comment I knew was over the line the moment it left my mouth. Not only did I have the internal, 'uh-oh meter' go off, but my friend's face let me know that my words were not received well. As soon as we parted I knew I had to apologize for that comment. If I didn't take responsibility for making a mistake, though our relationship would remain strong, there would be a chink in the trust we have with each other. So, I did - apologize that is. I called her up and said, 'my bad' and that was not what I intended to say at all, but I did so I'm sorry. Of course, she graciously accepted and we moved on - all done.

Why is taking responsibility important, and how does it impact your personal power? Let's talk power first. When I say personal power I mean your own personal ability to affect change in your own life. You don't have power over other people, but you do have power over how you respond to them. You don't have power over traffic, but you do have power over how you choose to manage it. Get it?

Power is about your choice and your action. When you take responsibility for something that is not going right or well, then you take the power to make it different. On the flip side, if you blame others for what's not working in your life - 'it's all your fault' - then you have successfully given that person, or institution your power. You are then at the mercy of that other to make it right for you. And you can wait forever and ever for that to happen.

Some folks choose to give their power away and remain in a victim place. I am a teacher at a local university and in a recent class I had two students who were quite good at giving away their power. It was the University's fault that they weren't informed, it was my fault that I graded too hard, it was the curriculum's fault that it wasn't clear, it was the technology's fault that they didn't know how to operate it, and on and on and on. Not surprisingly these students didn't get very good grades and guess who got blamed? Yes, me! What I find so unfortunate about this experience is that these grown up women gave everyone else the power for their educational experience. I find it very sad that they gave away almost all their power for their learning and their grade and then got angry at others.

Do you give away your power? Do you blame others for things that don't go well for you? If so, then here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What am I getting out of giving my power away (being a victim)?
• Are there certain areas that I give my power away in more than others?
• If I took responsibility for myself, how would that impact my life?
• What can I take responsibility for right now?
• What's my first step in taking that responsibility?
  

Go for it! Take the responsibility you need to make your life shine. Only you can do that. Sure, life throws us doozys all the time, but we get to choose how we deal with life's lemons.

One caution - don't take responsibility for what is clearly the responsibility of others. You have no power over other's behavior, so don't take responsibility for someone's drinking, violence, failures, etc. They need their own power!

Taking responsibility is a key component of a powerful and successful life. Need some help? Then get it. I'm ready to Coach you to responsiblity if you need it at Balanced Life Coaching.